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When I asked if he wore condoms, he said aggressively, 'What? I got hit in the face with a slice of moldy pizza from a dumpster, and he helped me clean the grease off my face. But then they're like, 'I totally care about you, I just need to fuck other people, and you're not invited.'"—Anonymous "Okay, so I've never had good luck in love. One day in '08 (pre-app era), I tried internet dating. Then, before the entrée shows up, guess who walks in the front door? No, you can't make this stuff up, and no, it's not what you think. He didn't fight me, or even acknowledge my presence. The next morning, I dropped him at home and he said he would call me later. I was then told that disappearing date had stated I was the only person he knew in the area that he could remain sober around, and as a result could he be remanded to my custody until said date could be deposited in a drug treatment center on Monday due to parole violation.
I just thought, 'Wow, he's so sweet.'"—Sarah Mirk, author of Sex from Scratch: Making Your Own Relationship Rules "Some of my most interesting dating memories are from when my spouse and I were fairly new to polyamory. I picked up said date downtown at the federal prison—still in prison uniform—and then proceeded to take him to a family reunion campout for the weekend until he could be dropped off at the treatment center on Monday morning at 8 am.
The waiter came and my date brazenly ordered foie gras. And sadly, he was hotter in person."—Bri Pruett, comedian, straight lady "So I'm on SE Hawthorne, enjoying an early evening. The burrito came and it was massive—your eyes widened with joy.
As you soaked up the booze with bite after massive bite, you grew quieter until it seemed as if you and the burrito were the only ones in the bar.We quickly realized that the story didn't end after reminding you that it's hard to avoid an ex in the bulk aisle of Whole Foods. And they are terrifying, true tales from the crypt.In solidarity, I collected real-life dating stories from our panel of romance experts, as well as the Mercury's Portland Dating Dispatch blog, where anonymous locals stopped being polite and started getting real about seeking relationships and sex in Portland. There's not much hope for us, fellow singles of Portland.If you love history and want to make a difference, Stevenson's Public History major is designed to help you achieve your goal.Through our skills-based courses and experiential learning opportunities you will acquire the very specialized knowledge necessary to joining the practice of public history.Our office employs a team of investigators and we have doctors and forensic experts on call to challenge the governments evidence.