I asked Christopher is he had guys over to spend the night often and he said that I was his first one since hed moved to SF a year ago. But, I think I am secretly hoping that after all is said and done, hell fall completely in love with me and well live happily ever after.
But if that were to happen, Id probably be worried constantly about whether I was his boyfriend of the month. We are both adults and we both know what the expectations are.
Turns out, within a few weeks their new friend had set his sights on my friend's partner, thinking he would "fall completely in love with me and we’ll live happily ever after," pushing my friend out of the picture. By playing horrible manipulation games that created huge misunderstandings and greatly hurt feelings.
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Last year they decided to introduce a third party, a man they met while on vacation, to "spice things up," if you will.
Initially, it was my friend who met him and persuaded him that his partner was ok with the whole idea, and eventually he agreed to a short visit.
Disclaimer: I'm speaking as someone whose relationship is wide open and has been since the beginning, not as a proponent of exclusivity. I am also not a gay man, but a straight woman in an open marriage. And, since I know I never would have taken my advice were I in your shoes, do whatever you're going to do, and we'll be here for cyberhugs when he breaks your heart. That sounds more to me like a if he doesn't ask if I'm cheating, I won't tell him thing to me.
You'll either end up disappointed, suspicious, demanding, jealous, or some combination thereof. They either have an open relationship or they don't. The other thing is, even if they do have an open relationship, you said yourself you think you want more than that.
Christopher held my hand off and on during the entire time at the bar, and his friends didnt seem to notice that he was holding hands with someone who wasnt his bf.
It was getting late and I was tired, so I told him I was going home.If that's who you are, save yourself some heartache and walk away. But going into a relationship wishing it was going to be something that all signs are suggesting it's not going to be is a recipe for getting your heart trampled on.I think your fears are totally justified - either you'll wind up being a fuck buddy, or you'll wind up as the boyfriend waiting to be dumped for the next fuck buddy.Open relationships only work if everyone is honest with each other. (occasional fling) If you don't want to be the other man, or think you can't handle that role (no judgement here on the right or wrong of it), then you need to stay away from him. Good luck My friend was recently involved in a similar relationship.In order for that to happen, everyone has to be honest with themselves. All that said, if you can enjoy having a guy that is not yours to keep without expecting any more from it AND if he's being honest with his BF about it then I say go for it. He has been in a committed relationship with his partner for 17 years.Or should I just enjoy the limited time we would have together? 1) You need to find out if "don't ask, don't tell" means "open" or "what they don't know won't hurt them". If you don't want to hurt anyone, you need to make sure it really is "open." 2) I'm getting a vibe from you that "open" might not be what you really want. Well, I'm not a man, and as such, I have limited experience with gay relationships.