Some believe that, once married, a person is never free to marry again unless their spouse dies – and no exceptions.
Christian divorce and dating and kids
Despite having been through painful break-ups, they were convinced of the benefits of marriage, and weren’t afraid to have another crack at it.
Far from being commitment-shy, they were keen to find a good woman and get on with the business of building a healthy relationship.
Trying to immediately fill the gap left by an ex-spouse is rarely a recipe for a healthy relationship.
I’d need to be sure my potential partner had taken time to heal, and was truly ready to move on.
Have they been able to forgive (or are they at least working on it)? What have they learned from the experience, and what would they do differently in a future relationship? How do they plan to protect any future marriage from infidelity? If they have children, can you embrace them as part of the ‘package’?
Are you prepared for their children to be suspicious and resentful of you, at least to start with? If you’re divorced yourself, what advice would you give to others?
(You can read the full grisly story in my book, Would Like To Meet). Are they rushing to fill the gap left by their spouse, or do they seem genuinely ready to move on? Have they worked through the trauma of their divorce?
So if being divorced isn’t a deal-breaker for you, and you find yourself interested in someone who’s single for the second time, here are my top seven issues to consider… Is the marriage definitely over, with no chance of reconciliation? Do they have ‘closure’ or are they still dealing with shock and grief? Are they able to discuss their former spouse without too much anger and bitterness? If they cheated, do they accept full responsibility for their behaviour and show genuine repentence?
How long that takes will vary, depending on the person and their circumstances.