No matter how I tried to fix myself, I could never seem to get anything right. Now that I broke that off and haven’t spoken to him for four months, I got back into online dating.
Since the breakup we had zero contact and in this time I have become friends with another guy.
Only friends, only platonic, and I’ve been really upfront about my emotional position.
ESSENCE's own Matchmaking Duo talk with hundreds of men a year about why they are so quick to move into another relationship after a big breakup.
What they've found: sometimes it's not what his ex did wrong but what his new lady did right.
I really enjoy his company a lot, but I never really thought of him as boyfriend material.
Not sure if I should pursue that, but if he keeps asking me out and it just naturally progresses like that, maybe I should open myself up, like Evan suggested in his response.
What you are doing is planting the seed of all that you see in him and who you want him to become and eventually the seed will harvest and grow!
Regardless of what he hears out in the world, he will believe that he is all of these great things, and most often, he will want to stay where he is being fed.
You deserve credit for trying to turn over a new leaf and open up to different (read: less challenging) men. There are lots of people – men and women alike – who are eager to find love again directly after their painful breakup. The beta guy may put up with it for awhile because he likes you, but he deserves to show you what it’s like to BE with him.