We do buy organic meat, and have each cut back on foods we found we simply couldn’t resist (his was ice cream, mine was cheese).We each try to eat a balanced diet and to steer our joint meals on an overall healthy path.But since the only magic wand I have at my disposal is my vibrator, all I can do is appreciate him for who he is, inside and out, and try to do the same for myself.
I can’t count the number of times I’ve been asked if he’s “working” on his weight. He’s working on living his life and doing so in as healthy a manner as possible, one that works for him.
Being bombarded with this type of faux-concern has given me empathy for what he and other fat people go through umpteen times a day, and just how unhelpful it is.
Just as he doesn’t get on my case when I stray from my overall healthy eating, I don’t try to tell him what to put in his mouth.
I do, however, try to get him to expand his meat and potatoes palate, and because he loves to cook, he’s open to it.
In his case, I believe it’s genetic; he’s been heavy since a very young age, and didn’t slim down even when playing football twice a day. That’s something you can’t hide when you live with someone, nor would I want to.
The fact that he knows I have trigger foods, like potato chips, means he won’t leave them in the house, but also that when I do have a binge eating episode, he is kind about it.But during the three years we’ve been together, he’s taught me a lot about size, fatness and self-care. I’d like to say I’ve always shared this level of both candor and comfort with my curves, but that’s not true.I can get so hung up on a clothing size that I’ll buy a less flattering but lower number to make myself feel better.Whereas I can’t get enough of leafy green vegetables, he’s much more picky.So we experiment; I’ll bring him recipes, he’ll cook them and be open to tasting them, If I felt like he didn’t care about his health, that would be a red flag.Knowing that he’s dealt with actual discrimination because of his size has forced me to ask myself tough questions when I do worry about my weight: namely, what am I really worried about? It’s a vicious cycle, so living with someone who simply doesn’t let himself care about what other people think is a constant revelation.