Since I’ve been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend Doug for nearly two years now, Tinder has never been necessary to me.Still, I’ve always found it curious how the app has the tagline “It’s How People Meet,” so different from other dating apps, which put the focus on love and connection and building relationships.
This is a perfect example of the way girls get treated almost anywhere on the internet – no matter what we say, guys expect us to owe them conversation. And then, he got two messages from sex workers using the platform to find clients. I suppose just that Tinder really isn’t a place to connect and make new friends. But the way Tinder markets itself as a space for everyone to meet new people made us think that hey, maybe we both won’t get people offering to have sex with us since we said we weren’t interested.
Nobody ever messaged Doug or me saying anything along the lines of “Hey, I read your profile, respect that you are in a relationship and would love to hand out and hear more with you in a friendship way! Friendship never was brought up with any of his or my matches. Not the case – I’d say nine times out of ten, the people offering/asking for sex did not even glance at anything further than our pictures.
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For this article I used the descriptions of women who have shared their online dating experiences with me to describe 11 types of (heterosexual) men who are drawn to Internet dating.And that other 10% – guys that read my profile and were still sexual aggressive – were the absolute worst of all. Ladies on Tinder, be prepared to “owe” guys conversation on yet another social space, no matter what. She’s written for Xo Jane, The Fanzine, Weird Sister and The Newer York and started the anti-street-harassment blog “But What Was She Wearing?” Kati has been surviving off of pizza, glitter and glam rock since 1991.It made him feel a little bad, I think, seeing that if we ever broke up and had to use this app for real, I’d get way more immediate action than he could expect.I’m convinced this has way less to do with a disparity in our levels of attractiveness than the fact that, as I later found out, men have a tendency to swipe right three times more than women. More than 40% of my matches messaged me despite my asking them not to, while only 6% of Doug’s matches reached out to him.And would it be different than how women would treat a boy saying the exact same things?