It appears as though as though your partner has all the strength.But it's just the opposite -- real power is the ability to maintain intimacy. Power and strength of this caliber have no fear of being honest and direct.Some of them are much more ingrained and difficult for the guy to overcome than others.
About your Hot/Cold partner: There's a marked difference between a relationship hiccup and the game of hot and cold.
Relationship hiccups occur because your partner is emotionally invested, but scared. Once stated, the hot phase normally reboots and continues with forward movement.
One minute you're high on the warmth of their attention, the next minute you're frozen out and left wondering what happened. Whether you call it push/pull, on/off, or hot and cold, the end result is the same. Whether done consciously or unconsciously, this type of behavior activates longing and pursuit. If we don't understand the game of hot and cold, we can find ourselves pulled into a drama of confusion. Understanding this type of behavior is crucial even for those of you committed to not playing games.
Behavioral extremes indicate a power play is being employed. Once we have the ability to see hot and cold for what it is, we're less likely to suffer its negative effects.
Games are an ego default when being "real" feels too scary. Being open and honest is a gift that's born of inner confidence and self-worth. Once you recognize this pattern, you've already gained your freedom from the automatic response instigated by your partner's game. Authentic communication reveals your partner's fears, allowing their concerns to be voiced and worked out while maintaining connection. This is a partner who's in the game for an ego boost and doesn't possess the skill set required for a relationship with you. Your time's better spent with someone who is capable of honesty, intimacy, and consistent behavior. Do they want to explore the possibility of a relationship with you?
Handling the Hot/Cold partner: The best way to handle a hot/cold tug of war is to proceed to honest questioning. If so, then you may have stumbled upon a highly sensitive and fearful individual. These are easy questions to ask when you know what you want and what you deserve. For those who are straightforward, there's little interest in anyone who plays games.
Men fear being overwhelmed and taken over in an all-consuming relationship void of any video games, sporting events or nights out with the guys.
The bad news is they are also scared, and they push real intimacy or commitment away.
But knowing of their existence and recognizing their predictable patterns will allow your dating to be a rewarding, rather than confusing, experience.